One of my goals for 2012 which wasn't on my list, is to work on certain aspects of my mental agility.
Some people have amazing skills of compartmentalising: when they're at work, that's all that's on their mind; at home they are able to switch off completely. Others, even if their upset-triggers are fired, they can either rationalise it quickly or it just doesn't seem to affect them. I'm jealous of both skills, and I'd love to acquire them.
The first I want as I believe it'll help me improve my productivity at work – I have an astounding amount to achieve here in 2012: get up to speed on risk, pass 7 exams, get up to speed on all the systems – while also improving my quality of life at home: I ponder over work things during the evening and it can attribute to reduced quality of sleep and decreased connection with what's going on around and who I am with.
Regarding the second, I have certain triggers – subjects or behaviours (started or enacted by others) – which either cause a mental upset which can and often does last days or weeks (the weeks are more what I call 'ripples' than constant focus), or anger (which I guess is a form of upset) which can last many hours.
The former (upset) is, I believe, influenced, perhaps enhanced, by my underlying anxiety issues. The latter (anger) is mostly generated by stupid people; I have an incredibly low stupid-person tolerance. Unfortunately, dealing with stupid people is par for the course. You can do your best to minimise their impact, but ultimately, if you want to stop them having any impact on your life, you need to eliminate them entirely. This, unfortunately, isn't possible.
Getting to grips with the triggers is another matter. I do, ultimately, know I have control over how things affect me. But transitioning from theory into practice is difficult to say the least. CBT would seem the route forward, but the thought of desensitisation training scares me (forcing myself to think of things which upset me, until they stop upsetting me). What would be beautiful is an off-switch I can press on certain things.
Is there a viable solution to either? What works for you? Am I asking for too much?
